Unfiltered

Social media. Have we ever stopped to think about it? I mean really think about it.

What is the purpose? What is with the flood of hashtags, memes, selfies, ecards,etc? It is all so shallow if we stop and think about it. It's easy to make our lives look put together in an instagram post. But in reality, that was the one day we actually did our hair, the one clean room in our house, and the only 5 minutes our kids weren't bugging us or having a fallout over a missing toy. Valencia filter anyone? It creates an unrealistic image of reality and for what?  So we can have a "me" centered attitude and find our sense of value in some dumb post. We have all been there. You know the time when after a status has been up for a few hours and it has 1 like and you contemplate deleting it. Was what you had to say not clever or funny enough? And on that note why are we second guessing ourselves based on the number of likes online. It's sad really.

Social media also starts the comparison game. Why does this girl get 100+ likes on her posts and I get 5? What does she have that I don't? If only I had more money maybe our family could do things like that. I wish my kids would sit still long enough for craft hour. I wish I wish I wish...and the dissatisfaction with the life God has blessed you with sinks in.

And don't get me started on how social media isn't really social at all. Why does our generation supplement snap chat for real company and why do we substitute emoji texts for being taken on real dates. The kind of dates where they call you and ask you out and you spend hours getting ready for it. The kind where when they pick you up, they don't just text here. They come to the door to get you and you spend the whole night talking and laughing and enjoying each others company. I am just so sick of all the lol's and #realtalk #blondeshavemorefun #wearesocool.

What if we started actually living life instead of trying to find the perfect filter? What if instead of worrying about the likes on our posts we started worrying about the hurting and the homeless in our community. What if instead of taking a picture of our dinner plate, we were serving it to someone who could really use it. Because believe it our not starvation is happening right here in the U.S. No, it's not just happening overseas, it is in our backyards. Cheers to educating ourselves. To finding hobbies. To being concerned with things bigger than ourselves.

You Need Him More Than You Know

Nowadays culture tells us we don't need "religion" to tell us what to do. They are just control freaks who can't face their own imperfections so they center themselves in telling others how to behave. They cram ideas of some Almighty God down the throats of everyone they know and they are the most judgmental people you have ever met. Right? Well, you may want to rethink your decision for Christ not for religion. You need Him for than you know. I know that I do. I need Jesus everyday to heal me when I am broken. I need to know that he is for me. I need to know that he finds me beautiful and worth it every time I try to my put my value in the guys that come my way. I need to know that He thinks I am worth the wait, that I am His princess and I should be treated with respect. I need to know that I must forgive others just as He forgives me each and every time I fall short. I need to know what real love looks like-it starts with a baby boy and ends with one man on the cross. Sacrificing himself for you. For me. Jesus cares deeply for all of us-just as a parent does. A parent only puts rules in your life to keep you from harms way and to make you into the person you need to be. That is the same with Jesus. He wants to see us live up to the potential He has in store for each and every life. All of our stories are different, but somehow the same with God. We are called to something better and everlasting. We don't have to settle for the attempts the world has made to outbid and outshine the love of Christ. Because at the end of the day-those who don't REALLY know Christ still feel empty when they lay in bed at night. They still come down after the high, so they buy more. They buy more vodka and live weekend to weekend. They still wear long sleeves to hide the pain. They still feel incomplete, even when their whole lives are the best they have ever been. And that is because even our best days without Jesus are no comparison to all the days we could be having with him. I have tried to life without Him-and let me tell you it was a HOT MESS. I couldn't imagine living my whole life feeling dependent on finding my self worth through the approvable of others. I couldn't imagine my depression returning and filling my thoughts with lies. We must not exchange the truth of God for a lie of the enemy. You are worth it. Tomorrow is a new day and I promise you, You need him more than you know.

Are You Okay With Complacency?

By definition the word complacency means a feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of trouble, danger, or controversy. Now when we use this in terms of Christianity, we are usually referring to someone who goes to church every Sunday but their relationship with God stops there. They live the other 6 days of the week for themselves. Their bible sits on their bookshelf to collect dust, the only time they pray is along with the congregation, and life goes on. And yet, they are completely unaware of the danger they are in. It says in the bible in Romans 2:13 " For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous." God has not called us to live for our own wants, but to take what he has given us and live a life pleasing to him. It's about our own wants to please the flesh and choosing to fill the soul with Godly things. It's about searching for the broken and loving them just the way they are. It's about showing the world that we are different then the average person. That we care more and love deeper. They may ask why and you know what we will say, it's all because of Christ. He fills us up so much that it overflows in all areas of our lives. So, are you okay with complacency and putting eternity on the line or is it time for a change?

Oh The Things He Tells Me and Learning To Be Okay With Joy

So, I am sitting in my room, listening to All Around Me by David Crowder Band and all of the sudden a thought creeps into my head. Thoughts of all my depression, all my past, everything. Flooding my brain. Like a dam broke that had been holding it back for some time now, allowing me to heal. I know the dam was God and satan was definetly the one trying to break it. But, no worries guys because God is great. He gave me words to fix the dam, words not to dismantle everything I have made progress from. He said, " Depression can't go deeper than the love of God can reach. Hand over your scars, hurt, pain, and pills over to Him and let real healing begin." I felt all of the holes in my dam seal back up and an overwhelming peace come over my soul. For awhile, I struggled with how to accept the joy of Christ. This seemed so foreign to me. You can be joyful, even when times are hard? No. That has to be a joke. But, it't the truth. If we fully surrender to the will of God, He will give us so many uplifting thoughts, so many releases from our anxieties, from everything. I know this sounds corny, but let go and let God. Accept the peace He brings and live a life that would glorify him.

Attitude Check..

So, I have made a habit of using at least part of my first mod study hall to take time to read and reflect on my bible and today God really checked my attitude. There is this one girl, who will remain nameless for the sake of not creating drama, and without even realizing it she hurt me so much. To this day, I still say how much I dislike her and get all bent up when I see her. So she just happens to be in my study hall and of course after she walked past I gave the usual response of how much I can't stand her and what a jerk she is. After this, I proceeded to take out my bible and start devotions for the morning. You will never guess what two verses God gave me- Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Also He gave me Ephesians 4:31-33 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Bam. That hit me in the face. I was just like okay God I give my attitude towards this girl to you so you can give me a new one. So, today ponder the way we treat people and check our hearts to see if God would be pleased. Showing God's love is one of the major ways we can win over people for Christ. And an extra thought-instead of complaining about how awful someone is, just pray about it. 

All Seems Dreary..

In my current state, I am trying to grasp the concept that some things aren't in my control. That no matter how much I feel I must be the glue-that I just can't be. And even though my father tries to slew the dynamic, I will be the child and he must be the parent. Right now, my dad is on a downward spiral alcoholic binge and it's very hard to deal with. Not only am I worried about him and his health, but also the fact that my mom will only let me do day visits now. We haven't broken the news to him yet and it terrifies me. I know he will react horribly, and when I do visit him the subject of conversation will be full of how my mom sucks. And I just hate feeling like I have to bash the other parent to make the one I am currently with feel they have all my love. What they need to realize is that through all the mistakes they have made in parenthood(which I am sure I will do my fair share of later in life), that I can love them both equally. I didn't eat hardly at all yesterday-I just felt sick all day. I can still feel this massive cloud of anxiety and depression starting to loom over my head again. Right when I thought it was over.. I want to feel the joy of the Lord. I just have a hard time accepting that all happiness won't fade. That I don't always have to be waiting for the bottom to fall out. Because if God is my bottom, my rock- and all my happiness depends on him, then my joy will be ever present.(not based on the situation.) So I have come across a few bible verses that have helped me. 

Mathew 6:43 says, " Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

Psalm 56:3-4 
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? 

John 16:22 - "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.".

The last one is my favorite. So, even though right now I feel I can't handle this-I know who can and I am soo thankful.